When Hazrin and I decided to tie the knot 6 years ago, we were only 24.
In today's context, that was rather young an age to get married, so we had a lot of acquaintances quipping things like
"Korang ni dah gatal sangat ke?!" or
"You both REALLY REALLY ready to get TIED DOWN?" or " You don't want to enjoy yourselves and get rich first mah?" , to which we answered yes, yes and yes.After all, I had only just gotten my license to practice, and Hazrin was still studying.
It was a weird process, I had to admit, cos Hazrin and I were from two very different worlds altogether, but things worked out between us and we found ourselves going down that road together.
I shall not dwell too much on our soul searching and His divine interventions, but suffice it to say, we were unusually prepared.
Our parents, though initially surprised, knew how sincere and determined we were. So they gave us their blessings.
But the surprise was revisited when we told them, two months after our wedding, that I had just conceived. And not just 1, but in fact 2 babies.
I still remember the look on Mummy's face. She had fear written all over it, and rightly so, cos I think she felt like we needed time to gain a stronger financial foothold before becoming parents to 2 babies.
Mak was excited when she learned of our twin preganncy, but I did catch a glimpse of fear too, soon after.
Last year, when I attended my annual congress, I was 'commended' for breaking the pharmacy procreation record. I'm not sure I was flattered cos although most of them meant well, some did say it in jest.
Sham is probably a lunatic, headed for a career suicide. She didn't study soo hard to become a baby-making machine did she?Well, for the record, I didn't study THAT hard. And what's so wrong about becoming a 'baby-making' machine'?
The safest way to go, nowadays, is typically a marriage that is at least a good few years after career establishment, afterwhich conception only begins at least a year later, followed by perhaps only one more perfectly spaced out conception. This is perfectly fine, workable and understandable, especially in Singapore. It's the more practical path, and Hazrin and I believed in that system too, until the wind of change changed us......
We learned that to be happy, we have to do what is right by us. Set our goals, move towards it together, and pray. Then when all is said and done, learn to appreciate His blessings.
We love having a big family, period. But Hazrin and I are adventure freaks. So naturally, we had to have all our children before we reach 30, while we still have our youth and energy. It may not be the norm, but 4 kids and 2 cats later, we have never regretted embarking on this journey. Our career was not compromised. In fact, the birth of every child has brought with it a unique string of 'rezeki' that culminated in more work promotions and progress.
We are not very rich, but we are not 'just getting by' either. We earnestly earn our keep, and we dont find ourselves having to compromise anyone's basic necessities, education, leisure or standard of living by having to 'spread' our income among more family members. Whatever it is, suffice it to say, we won't get richer having two kids and two cats less anyway.
It doesn't matter which road one takes -the main road, the expressway or the side road. As long as we get to our destination without having to compromise our dignity, honour, happiness, self-respect, safety and balance, that's a good road. In fact, there is no one road to take indefinitely. We choose our own speed and scenery......
When it comes to starting a family, Hazrin and I did not choose the main road not because we think it's the wrong road, but because it just doesn't suit us. We wish it would though, cos the more travelled road normally comes with more directions. : )
But our road gives us the balance we need. It is admittedly a more challenging road, one that comes with less instructions and more turns and bumps, but it gives us the time to wind down our windows and appreciate the scenery - the finer things in life.
There used to be a time when I endeavoured because I felt it was expected of me, and though I surpassed most expectations , I didn't feel complete.
I was put under a public microscope, and to keep up with expectations, I felt compelled to get in the race. Who's the smartest? Who's the most beautiful? Who's the richest? a.k.a the Kiasu race. Winner gets candy.
Then yet another race. Who's the smartest of the smartest? Who's the richest of the richest? Winner gets diabetes. ;O
Some people prefer staying on this expressway. And if it is right by them, they should stay on it.
But Hazrin and I decided to get off that road for now. We are finding our balance, and sometimes we get lost, but heck life is a journey. We have learned to laugh at ourselves.
We'll just keep on driving as best as we see fit. And we'll try to remember to let Him, and not our selfish ego lead the way.
